🧭 What Is “Quality of Life” for Pets & When To Consider Home Euthanasia?
Love & Toe Beans - Brisbane Gentle In-Home Pet Euthanasia | Pet Cremation | Pet Quality of Life | Greater Brisbane Region | Brisbane, Logan, Ipswich, Moreton Bay, Redland Bay
Looking Beyond Survival Toward Comfort, Connection & Compassion
As pet parents, there is no greater act of love than trying to make the right decisions for our furry companions, especially as they age, face illness, or begin to decline. You may find yourself quietly asking:
🕊️ "Are they still happy?"
🕊️ "Are we holding on too long?"
🕊️ "Would they want this life we’re trying so hard to preserve?"
These are not clinical questions, they are heart questions. At Love & Toe Beans, we believe that quality of life (QOL) is not simply about whether your pet is eating or walking. It’s about whether they are still able to live with comfort, dignity, and even moments of joy. 💗
Let’s take a compassionate deep dive into what quality of life really means, for your dog, your cat, and your heart.
🐾 What Is “Quality of Life,” Really?
Quality of life is the overall sense of wellbeing your pet experiences, physically, emotionally, and socially. It’s not just survival, it’s meaningful survival.
A pet with high quality of life feels:
Safe and loved 🤎
As free from pain and discomfort as possible 🤍
Emotionally connected to their family 💞
Able to enjoy parts of their routine 💕
Still a version of “themselves,” however gently that may be
The 7 Core Pillars of Pet QOL
These are the areas we reflect on with Brisbane families:
Pain and discomfort: Are they hurting, even subtly?
Mobility and independence: Can they move safely, confidently and with ease?
Hygiene and dignity: Can they toilet and groom themselves?
Appetite and hydration: Are they interested in food and water? Are they drinking enough or too much? Do they require hand-feeding and coaxing?
Emotional wellbeing: Do they seem engaged and connected to you?
Joy and engagement: Are there still sparks of pleasure or interest?
More good days than bad: Is the scale tipping toward suffering?
📊 The Trouble With QOL Scoring Systems
Veterinarians often share tools like the HHHHHMM Scale (Hurt, Hunger, Hydration, Hygiene, Happiness, Mobility, More Good Days Than Bad) or 1–10 scales for comfort and function. These tools can be helpful starting points, but they’re far from perfect.
🟡 Limitations of QOL Scoring Tools:
1. They’re too clinical.
Reducing your pet’s life to checkboxes and numbers can feel hollow. Your dog is not a data point. Your cat is not a pain scale. They're family, a soul you've shared a thousand quiet moments with.
2. They miss emotional suffering.
A dog may be eating, but hiding in corners, flinching from touch, or waking up confused in the night. A cat may still walk, but no longer purr, or react to affection. These signs matter just as much.
3. They often favour physical symptoms over emotional ones.
Mobility, toileting, appetite-these are visible. But what about confusion, detachment, or fear? Emotional wellbeing is harder to measure, but equally vital.
4. They don’t account for individual personality.
Was your cat always quiet? Is your dog naturally stoic? A lack of reaction doesn’t always mean comfort or peace.
5. They can confuse us with false hope… or guilt.
A chart that “looks okay” can make you feel crazy for worrying and it can muddy your intuition.
🐾 So… How Do You Truly Assess QOL?
The truth? It’s not just science.
It’s not just checklists.
It’s part science… part instinct… and 100% love. 💗
Here are gentle, soul-guided ways to tune into what your pet may be trying to tell you.
1. 🗓️ Track Patterns, Not Just Moments
A bad day is okay. A string of bad days is not.
Keep a simple QOL Journal. Each day, jot down:
🥣 Appetite and hydration
🩺 Pain signs (restlessness, pacing, limping, panting, inability to settle and rest, hiding and withdrawal)
💩 Toilet habits
🛌 Sleep patterns
🤍 Interaction and engagement
🐾 Moments of joy (tail wags, purrs, alertness)
Then look back over time, not just day-to-day. What’s changing?
2. ✨ Tune Into Their Spark
Ask yourself:
Do they still seem like themselves, or are they losing themselves?
Do they respond to your voice or seek you out, are they clinging to you for comfort for their suffering or are they avoiding you?
Is there still light in their eyes?
Or do they feel… distant?
That spark, that essence of who they are, is one of the most telling indicators of quality of life. If it’s flickering, it may mean they’re tired in a deeper, soul-level way.
3. 🔍 Watch for Subtle Signs of Distress
They may not cry or scream. But they will tell you.
Look for:
Pacing or panting for no reason
Whining, moaning, or trembling
Stress purring… sometimes an increase in purring can signify stress and pain
Avoiding affection or clinging and seeking comfort
Accidents in the house despite normal routines
Hiding or constant restlessness
Sudden changes in personality
These may reflect physical pain, emotional confusion, or deep discomfort. Sometimes, it’s all three.
4. 🧼 Dignity & Independence Matter Deeply
Loss of independence can feel distressing to pets.
Ask yourself:
Can they still move without fear or shame?
Can they keep themselves clean or are they lying in urine or faeces?
Do they resist being picked up, bathed, or touched?
When dignity starts to fade, it often brings confusion, anxiety, and embarrassment for pets. Especially those who’ve always been proud and independent.
5. 💔 Ask the Hardest, Bravest Question
Who are we prolonging this for, me or them?
You are allowed to love them too much to let go. You are allowed to not be ready. But take a moment to check in with yourself:
Would I want to live this way?
Is my pet still living, or just existing?
What would they choose, if they could speak?
These are impossibly hard questions. And you’re not meant to face them alone.
🫶 Coping With the Uncertainty
Even with all the “right” information, there’s rarely a perfect time. There will always be doubts.
You may:
Swing between clarity and confusion
Feel hopeful in the morning, and heartbroken by night
Wonder if one more day is worth it and grieve even before goodbye
All of this is normal. It means you love them deeply. And that’s what matters most.
What helps:
Talk it through with someone safe (your vet, a counsellor, or us)
Let go of needing absolute certainty
Know that compassion is not about perfection, it’s about presence
🌈 When You’re Too Close to See Clearly, We’re Here
When love and grief are tangled together, it’s hard to know what’s real. You might wonder:
“What if it’s too soon?”
“What if I’m just tired?”
“Am I giving up?”
But you are not giving up. You are showing up. Again and again. With gentleness. With presence. With love.
At Love & Toe Beans, we’re here for the in-between moments. The “I’m not sure” conversations. The “Can we talk this through?” calls. The “I just need someone to understand” emails.
We’re not here to rush or pressure.
We’re here to hold space for you, and for the love that’s so hard to let go of.
💗 In the End, It’s About Love
Quality of life is not a score. It’s a whisper, a look, a quiet truth in your pet’s eyes.
It’s not about prolonging life at all costs.
It’s about choosing peace over pain.
Comfort over control.
Dignity over duration.
And love, always love, over everything.
If you need someone to talk to, to help reflect, or to hold space for this sacred chapter, we are here for you. 🐾
Because love isn’t just about holding on.
It’s also about knowing when to gently let go. 💔💗
If you need support, you can reach out to us here
For more Quality of Life Resources click here
For a downloadable Quality of Life Tracker click LTB QOL Tracker monthly by LTB" target="_blank">here
With Love (& Toe Beans),
The Love & Toe Beans Team 💛
Servicing Greater Brisbane Region, including; Brisbane, Logan, Ipswich, Moreton Bay & Redland Bay
Gentle Home Pet Euthanasia, Pet Cremation, Pet Quality of Life & Pet Grief Support.