Why Kids May Grieve Pets Even More Than Adults
Helping Children Through the Loss of a Beloved Pet | Love & Toe Beans Brisbane | Home Pet Euthanasia & Pet Cremation Brisbane | Pet Grief Support | Greater Brisbane Region | Brisbane, Moreton Bay, Ipswich, Redland Bay, Logan
For many children, the death of a pet is their first experience with grief, loss, and saying goodbye. While adults often feel a deep loss too, a child’s grief can be even more intense, confusing, and long-lasting, partly because their understanding of life, love, and death is still forming.
At Love & Toe Beans, we support Brisbane families, including the smallest members, through the heartbreak of losing a beloved pet. If you're navigating this with your child, please know:
🧡 Your child’s grief is real.
🧡 Their heartbreak is valid.
🧡 And how we respond truly matters.
Why Pet Loss Hits Kids So Hard
Children don’t just have pets, they grow up with them. A pet might be:
Their very first best friend
A source of comfort and emotional safety
A loyal playmate or secret-keeper
A constant presence, sometimes more consistent than adults
Because pets are so deeply woven into a child’s world, their loss can shake a child’s sense of safety, routine, and even identity.
What the Research Tells Us
Recent studies confirm what many Brisbane parents already know in their hearts:
Children often rank pets among their most important emotional relationships, sometimes above friends or siblings.
Pet loss can lead to grief-related symptoms like anxiety, sadness, sleep issues, and behavioural changes.
Without support, some children may internalise guilt or believe (through magical thinking) that they caused or could have prevented the death.
This grief is not “just a phase.” It’s a real, significant emotional response that deserves to be held with care.
How Children May Grieve the Loss of a Pet
(And What Signs to Watch For)
Every child can grieve differently, but here are some common age-specific responses:
Younger Children (2–7 years):
Repeatedly asking where the pet went
Confusion about death and whether it’s permanent
Regression (bedwetting, clinginess, tantrums)
Imaginary play involving the pet
Believing the pet might come back
Older Children (8–12 years):
Expressing guilt or “what if” thoughts
Withdrawing or becoming unusually quiet
Trouble sleeping or focusing at school
Trying to appear “strong” or emotionally numb
Asking thoughtful (and sometimes very hard) questions about life and death
🧡 How to Support a Grieving Child
Be honest, but gentle
Use age-appropriate, clear language. It may be better to avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep” or “went away,” which can confuse or scare younger children. You may wish to try something like:
“Our dog Max died today. That means his body stopped working, and he won’t be coming back. We are very sad because we loved him so much, but it was the kindest thing to do for him as now he isn’t suffering or in pain anymore.”
Allow all feelings
Let your child cry, be quiet, ask questions, or even get angry. All responses are okay. Reassure them that it’s safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.
Create rituals together
Children benefit from concrete ways to say goodbye. You could:
Light a candle
Write a letter to the pet
Draw a picture
Create a photo album
Help scatter ashes or plant a flower
Keep their pet’s memory alive
Talk about the pet often; their funny habits, favourite toy, or the way they snored. Sharing memories helps a child process grief and feel safe holding onto love.
Let them see your grief too
Model healthy grief by letting them see you cry or miss your pet. This teaches them that it’s okay to express emotions, and they’re not alone in their sadness.
Seek additional support if needed
If your child’s grief is ongoing, affecting their wellbeing, or you’re just not sure how to help, a child therapist with experience in pet loss can offer gentle, expert support.
You're Teaching Them That Grief Is Love
Supporting a grieving child is one of the most tender gifts a parent or carer can give. You’re not just helping them say goodbye to a pet, you’re teaching them that:
Grief isn’t a problem to fix,
it’s the evidence of how deeply we’ve loved.
At Love & Toe Beans, we believe children deserve to have their grief taken seriously. If your child would like to honour their pet through a drawing, photo, or story, we welcome you to share it with us so we can add it to our [Memory Garden → linked here]. We’d be honoured to celebrate the special bond they shared.
A child’s love for their pet is pure.
So is their heartbreak.
And with your support, their healing can be, too.
With warmth and compassion,
The Love & Toe Beans Team 💛
Love & Toe Beans Brisbane | Home Pet Euthanasia & Pet Cremation Brisbane | Pet Grief Support | Greater Brisbane Region | Brisbane, Moreton Bay, Ipswich, Redland Bay, Logan
