“I Should Be Over It By Now…”
Why There’s No Expiry Date on Grieving Your Pet-Support for Brisbane Families
Love & Toe Beans | In-Home Pet Euthanasia, Pet Cremation, Pet Quality of Life & Pet Grief Support - Brisbane & Greater Brisbane Region
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, or heard someone else say:
“It’s been so long… I should be over this.”
“Other people seem to move on, so why can’t I?”
“Maybe I’m just too sensitive.”
“They were just a pet… right?”
If so, please take a breath and know this:
💛 You are not grieving wrong.
💛 You are not being too emotional.
💛 And no, they were never “just” a pet.
At Love & Toe Beans, we hear this kind of quiet guilt often, pet parents whispering that they “should be over it by now,” even when their heart still aches. So, let’s gently unpack where that pressure comes from, and why your grief, however long it lasts, still matters deeply.
🐾 Where the Pressure Comes From
Many people don’t expect the loss of a pet to affect them so profoundly, or for so long. But when it does, it can be jarring. That’s partly because:
Pet grief is often misunderstood or minimised by others
You may not receive the same empathy as you would after losing a human loved one
The loss is private, but impacts your whole day-to-day rhythm
People around you may stop asking how you are, long before you’ve healed
This kind of grief is often disenfranchised, meaning it’s not always socially recognised. That can make it even harder to navigate.
But just because your grief is quiet doesn’t mean it’s not real.
🧠 The Science of Long-Term Pet Grief
Modern research has shown:
The brain processes pet loss much like the death of a human
Areas linked to love, emotional attachment, and memory light up
The loss of a pet can trigger symptoms of depression, anxiety, and PTSD, especially if it was sudden or traumatic
Your daily routine, emotional regulation, and even sense of identity can be deeply shaken
In other words, grief is not a sign of weakness. It’s a reflection of a powerful, mutual bond.
Some pet parents begin to feel lighter in a few months. For others, especially after losing a soul pet, the ache lingers much longer. That’s normal.
💛 It’s not about how long it takes. It’s about how deeply you loved.
So… How Long Is Too Long to Grieve?
Here’s the truth: There’s no such thing.
There’s no deadline for missing a life that changed yours.
There’s no point where grief becomes “too much.”
There’s no rule that says when love must stop hurting.
What matters most is not the length of your grief, but that you feel safe, supported, and seen while you move through it.
💛 Still Feeling It? That’s Okay.
You may still:
Cry when you see their photo
Smell their old things
Whisper their name when no one’s around
Feel guilty about how they passed or decisions you had to make
Struggle with the thought of getting another pet again or feel guilty if you have
Avoid “that park” or “that chair”
Wish people would just understand
💛 You’re still grieving because it still matters.
🌿 Gentle Ways to Support Yourself (Without Forcing a Timeline)
If you’re still hurting, whether it's been 2 months or 2 years or 20 years, here are a few kind ways to hold space for yourself:
1. Reframe the “Should”
Instead of thinking:
“I should be over this by now…”
Try:
“I’m still feeling this because they meant the world to me.”
Love doesn’t disappear. Neither should your permission to mourn.
2. Stay Connected in Small, Beautiful Ways
Your bond doesn’t have to end. Try:
Displaying their photo or collar
Writing them a letter or journal entry
Lighting a candle on their birthday or “gotcha day”
Talking to them, yes, still
Visiting a place they loved in your local suburb
This isn’t being “stuck.” It’s continuing your love, just differently.
3. Talk to Someone Who Understands
When others don’t get it, it’s easy to feel alone. But there are people who understand:
A friend who’s also lost a pet
A grief counsellor or therapist with awareness of animal loss
Pet loss support groups online or locally in Brisbane
Or our caring team at Love & Toe Beans , we have walked this path too
You can also honour your pet in our Digital Memory Garden on our Facebook page, where their story lives on gently and beautifully.
4. Let Go of the Need to “Move On”
You don’t have to forget to heal. You don’t have to “get over it” to live fully again.
Grief may soften or change its form with time, or you may grow and change around it, but love always lingers.
You’re allowed to remember.
You’re allowed to cry.
You’re allowed to still love and miss them, even now.
If You Needed a Sign… This Is It
If you've been quietly wondering whether it's okay to still feel this way...
This is your permission to feel it all, without shame, guilt, or apology.
You are grieving the loss of love, of safety, of soft ears, warm fur, and a presence that shaped your every day.
There’s no timeline for that kind of goodbye.
💛 How We Can Support You, Wherever You Are in Greater Brisbane Region
At Love & Toe Beans, we offer:
Gentle in-home pet euthanasia (cats & dogs)
Respectful pet cremation support
Pet Quality of Life Mobile Vet Consultations or Vet Phone Consultations
Grief support & pet loss resources
Pet transfer from home if your pet passes naturally
Support across Brisbane, Redland Bay, Logan, Moreton Bay, Ipswich, and surrounding suburbs
Because no grief should be invisible, especially the kind born from unconditional love.
Grief that lingers isn’t weakness. It’s love, remembering.
And that love? It will always be part of your story.
With Love (& Toe Beans),
The Love & Toe Beans Team 💛
(Home Pet Euthanasia & Cremation Services - Greater Brisbane- Brisbane, Moreton Bay, Redland Bay, Ipswich & Logan)